dummies

Dear Wife :
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leavingyou for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weekshave been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you hadquit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and evenwore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or youdon't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.Your EX-Husband.

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!"but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxerson because the price tag was still on them. I prayed thatit was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning ... And your silk boxers were$49.99.

After all of this, I still l oved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that with the letter that you wrote, you won'tget a dime from me.
So take care.

Signed,Rich As H_e_l_l_ and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla,
my sister, was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

This post was written by the sharing of sis Mel who got it from her friend lol..