Can One Truly Find True Love Through The Net?

Do you believe in cyber love? Well, I do. I was once ‘there’. The cyber-courting days back when MIRC and ICQ ruled. Relationship that started from an innocent ‘hello’ and developed into late night chats and endless phone calls. The little kisses that were given out so easily through the chat room which then developed into real hard copy “Miss You” cards. When cyber friendship became real life relationship and the sweet memories of the virtual world collided with reality, how would you know which one is real? The caring, sensitive and humorous guy you knew online, or the personality of a womaniser of whom he’s infamous for among his friends? He was a charming gentleman who portrayed himself as the perfect man. One who would open the car door for me and brought me roses when he was late. Who would switch sides with me while crossing the road so that I won’t be facing the on-coming traffic. The romantic guy who serenaded sweet melodies into my ears as we danced the night away under the stars. But what’s a girl to do when she finds out that she’s just another trophy girl in his conquest to prove himself to his friends, and the one he truly loved was that one girl he could never get? Oh yes, he turned out to be quite a seasoned ‘player’. In fact, by now, he’s probably the guru of all gurus. One of his friends once told me he kept pictures of all the girls he dated in what he called his little black book of “The X-es Club”. A person can be so misguided when in love. So blinded by the memories of chat history that we tend to believe the person we knew through the virtual world because those seemed so real, while reality seemed surreal. That through such long distance relationship, a person can juggle between two and even three relationships and never get caught. When one could introduce you to his parents in the evening, sends you off and goes home at night with another girlfriend, wakes up the following morning and cooks her breakfast, then rushes off in the afternoon to pick another girl from a distant college and repeat the same cycle with much creativity and style. All the while, maintaining close contact with you through sms-es and yes, internet chats. So, yesterday when I chanced upon a dating site called chineselovelinks.com, my instant reaction was a “hah!” with a smirk and to click “x” but curiosity got the better of me. Something caught my attention - the testimonials of happily married couples who started through the ‘cyber world’ dating.I wasn’t convinced, quite an irony really…since I’m a wedding planner, and yes, I’m also a romantic at heart. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitter because of my past experience and neither am I a cynic when it comes to Internet dating, or whatever you call it these days. Like I said, I do believe in cyber love. I just don’t believe in the authenticity of it all. Can a love that is built over the Internet surpass all levels of cultural differences? Can you still connect with each other when there’s the language barrier in between? Can a Texan white guy who can’t speak Mandarin find true love in a mainland Chinese girl who speaks minimal English? What happens when you realise that you connect better when you’re both online? And after months of long distance friendship, will there be the awkwardness of trying to find a topic of interest when you finally meet in person, face-to-face? So, to satisfy my curiosity and to give cyber love that one chance to blossom again, I signed myself up. The service is free but your membership status would be much like a mere spectator. With a standard membership status, you won’t be able to send e-mails to another Standard member. You’ll only be able to “express your interest”. If you would like to have more ‘opportunities’ of finding your true love, you will need to upgrade to Gold or Platinum membership – and this is when you have to pay a monthly subscription fee. The mechanics are simple. If you are interested in someone, you can choose to “Show Interest” and wait for a reciprocal from the other party or “Send Mail” and confess your desire to take it to the next level – NO, it’s not cyber sex – by next level definition, means giving your MSN or personal e-mail! J So, after over an hour of browsing through the picture gallery, I showed interest to about a million men and sent over a zillion e-mails. Ok, so, I’m exaggerating. My point is…choices are abundant! Men here……are……perfect. As the saying goes, if things are too good to be true, then they usually are too good to be true. Check out some snippets of these interesting profiles: · Tall, dark and handsome (Classic!) · I would like to find a wife as soon as possible. Live can be lonely. · I’m your angel. · Honest! (Just a one-word description) · A gentle, caring guy looking for a real woman. You can be my woman on top, I’ll give you all the authority. I like a woman in control while I take the back seat and you can get me to do anything you want. · I’m a homely guy who enjoys cooking for my girl. · I’m a well-balanced financial analyst who enjoys the great outdoor, cooking and watching movies. I recently moved to Shanghai, living in a studio penthouse ……………….…………..…………..looking for a petite Chinese girl whom I could spend quality time with and also practice my Mandarin language. And some people, who took all the fuss and time to list themselves here along with all the necessary personal details, summarised their profile into: · I don’t give you a f***. · Don’t bug me if you want a relationship. Ah…the myriads of interesting personalities in this big big virtual world – a place where you are ‘picked’ based on the photo that you put up, and judged based on what you would like to be perceived as. I think it is much too complicated for an ordinary Chinese girl looking for a man who can simply love her for who she is ~FULL STOP~ The chineselovelinks.com is a Chinese dating site that assists singles to find a Chinese partner for friendship, dating, romance or marriage with people from around the world. It is managed by cupid service and has many other sites offering similar services but to cater to different ethnic mix such as Mexican link, Korean cupid (my favourite), Japan Cupid, Muslima.com, Singaporean Link and more. This post was written by Natasha Khoo